The Little Prince that I Lost

Seeing your online status as available bring back the memory of Little Prince. He is a child in journey, searching for something and someone to become his friends. He has a wild flower serving as a great friend. Despite selfish character of the wild flower, Little Prince still love and care her. He tended to everything she needs. He watered her everyday. That’s what I want to do for you. It’s a blind love. Is it?

You are my Little Prince, once.  You are wondering around, questioned the world, asking me tough questions, punch my confidence hard. But as the time goes by, you turned into the wild flower and I became the Little Prince. I questioned everything you did or sent to me. We went our own way. I left the planet that we shared and went to the galaxies before coming into earth.

You are not special, our relationship was.

I couldn’t understand you because I haven’t understand myself. We were on the same page but in different books. As I reflect it now, I didn’t love you then. I was looking for intimacy and adulation from a man. I found a restless man as I was. Perfect match. We sparked the light and glad that we were careful not to lit the fire and burned our souls together.

We never say goodbye like The Little Prince to his wild flower. We just knew that the time had come. We did it gracefully and quietly. We were childish and wise, unlike those adults.

When I was set down on earth, I try to take things easy. I saw what the world has done to you and I know what patriarchy has done to my body. I used to be the fox of myself, eating off my own confidence, and believing what other say about me. I avoid any snake, I thought they are much more dangerous than human. I thought they eat souls and molest children.

I did miss you like The Little Prince miss his wild flower. Many times, you were The Little Prince because you always refused to answer my questions and to become the object of my obsession.

I thought you were one of the kind until I met many roses. You were stubbornly busy to become a man, I was busy searching of what I want to become.

We found the well we’re looking for then realized we belong to different spaces. There was no goodbye because nothing to say goodbye to. We were and in many ways are still The Little Prince.

Diselesaikan di Malang, 9 Maret 2014


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