Some said, “Careful with what your wishing for!” Yes, I know it now. I did wish for this and I focus on it so I got it. I learn a lot from wishing-coming-true experience. I learn that you should prepare yourself when some of your wishes do come true. Often times, you pass the preparation as unimportant.
In some cases, when your wishes come true, you realized that your wish is actually a temporary-and-instrumental-wish. You stop and wake up at some points and find out that it is not your ultimate wish. The era is changing and our wish is built up into our era. Like I never wish to become a doctor because I don’t have a wonderful and glam picture about being a doctor. I chose library studies and I was adamant to be a librarian. I remember I was ready to against my family and my friends when I chose that department. I stood up to my idea. If I looked back, I was amazing at how clear I knew what I want.
As time goes by, my ultimate wish become blur and bleak. Is it because I don’t need ultimate wish anymore or am I letting myself to be carried away by the current? Sometimes, I want my wish to be very clear so it will be easier to fight or walk the talk for my wish. I am in the state of swimming into myself and try to ignore the current that push me back to the surface. It’s like living in two sides of the world. None is better than the other. I just want to be fully-emerged with a good and critical reason.
My wishes are coming true at this stage. It really is. I believe in the power of dream and wish. I was surprise to find that the journey was quite easy and I feel like I was embedded into some institutions rather than becoming a tree in the forest. Now, I want to look back to those wishes. I think age does matter. Next year I will turn 30 and I feel so excited about the meaning it will bring to my life. It should have meaning.
I have been wandering around to that and this places; pickled my brain in some supposed-to-be-mental-institutions and sometimes “unemployed”. I want to talk to myself about it.
Medan, 12 Desember 2008